humor
On Rodney Dangerfield
On Humor:
“I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.”
On Success:
“Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.”
On Milton Berle
HUMOR:
“I’m 83, and I feel like a 20-year-old, but unfortunately there’s never one around.”
“I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he’s working.”
“Laughter is an instant vacation.”
OPTIMISM:
“I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I’d rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.”
On George Burns
On Humor:
“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”
“Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.”
On Success:
“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”
Elysian Waters 